


I'm Still here

by Shotthroughttheheart



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Heart tearing, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:05:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4184397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shotthroughttheheart/pseuds/Shotthroughttheheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or: <br/>Dave notices John's behavior and tries to see what is the problem</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Still here

Im Still Here

Or Dave notices John's behavior and he tries to find out what is wrong with his best bro. Warning: T-up, alcohol uses, fluff of Dave and John. Even to Davesprite.

\--------------

->Be John:

Here you are sitting in your room. Stairing into your father wallet, seeing his letters/cards. It wasnt the only problem, it was your fathers brithday. You've kept count for months. Hell pratically years, for all you knew. Sure you can see your (dead) father in your home, before you turned 13, before you played that stupid game, before you were challenged to take on thousand upon thousand of suffering or dead both trolls and humans, before you became a leader towards your group, before you were even trolled by trolls. Though ironically, you got to admit sometimes thoses trolls were good. But now its only torture to handle. Though you can hear their pained ,suffering, voices through the computer. Even yours. It was hurtful to even speak to your team. Or to others. You wear a mask to hide these "pained" expressions. Towards your friends, ectobiological sister, and others. You even started wearing long covering shirts, to hide the scars of shame and blame. Quitely you lift yourself from your bed to pick up your computer. Turning it on, it wasnt long until pesterchum rang through the room with the ghostbuters theme song. Playing, you lowered it volume down to zero, zelch, na-da, none. Basically to nothing, as you look through the names listed for being on.

Signing to yourself, you turn it right back off. Closing the lid you got up and place it back on your desk. As usual you find that no one is/was on. They've been more likely to be in the livingroom chatting off to thier buddies, like nothing has happened to them. Looking back at the picture frame of my father and me, as a child and no more than six. It was a bright sunny day, on my planet, just on the last break of summer to the chilly winter, just around the corner. Smiling as its icy finger wrap around the sun. At the time, I had a very creative mind of princess(es) at the tippy-top tower waiting for thier prince(s)/knight(s) to save them from their darkest foes. We were very happy, I was happy for my father, as he was happy towards me.

Smiling at the photo, not realizing how hot my face was and how tears were falling freely down my face. Lately its rare to find me actually smiling, towards anyone really. Shifting myself on my seat as I pour myself a glass of the finest whiskey and vodka. Shot after shot, I drank and drank every drop of alcohol I had left. It was intoxicating, it made me feel funny, light, and happy(?). Smiling you let a quiet loud hicup sound escape your lips as you got up. Still quiet tispy-turnies/dizzy, you leave the photo behind with the alcohol as well, and traveled to the piano room.

\----------

-> Be Dave:

Here you are eating your 'morning' breakfest as Rose and Jade talk to themselves. You can hear them, but you let the humming of the tick tock sounds fill the entier brain. Still eating. Yup, still eating. You thought as they talk. "blahblahblahblah-" "Blahblahblahblahblah." Will they ever stop talking, without noticing how they looked at you. You still eat your food until the ever loving gog sound loose your train of thought. "DAVE FUCKING STRIDER. SO HELP ME GOG I WILL MAKE SURE THOSE TURN TABLES WONT BE THE ONLY FUCKING THING TURNING ONCE I THROW YOU IN THE HORRORTERROR VOID." Ah, is that a lovely voice of your crabby buddy, Karkat. "Well, your highness, even if you could throw me in their I would only come back. Its like the ever loving flames that could be the only flames you could surive the ever chilling winters of hell." Not bothering the look at him in the face, you took one last bite because you know its coming.

Those sick flames you throw at one another was one type of entertainment you two do. "WELL I HOPE THE TIMER GOD CAN TELL ME WHERE THE FUCKING HELL EGDERP WENT. BECAUSE HE ISNT IN HIS RESTPITEBLOCK, AND WE NEED HIM TO PLAN OUR NEXT TURN TO WIN THIS SHITTY GAME." Hearing this I was unsure. Hmmmm... Interseting. "Hey guys have you seen him, because I sure as hell didnt." Seeing this they said no. Knowing this, it was odd that he wasnt in his room.

Quickly I got up and started moving. Mission Egderp hunt: comence. Going through the room I would find him, it was plainly empty of Jonny boy. Its not like him, so I went into his room to get a clue. Looking at his desk, I saw a calender circled on a date (could mean something), two drinks. Taking a closer look I was able to smell the alcohol in them, but yet they were empty. Walking towards the door until a very loud and aduible crack sound came from under my feet. Picking it up, I saw was a frame, infact a photo of a man and a child. Maybe three, but knowing it was in his room before, I could reconize it was John as a child. He never told me when this was taken. But I know both are happy. Wait! Looking back at the calender and the drinks and finally looking back at the picture. I had an idea where he went. Putting the picture frame back on the desk, I traveled to the piano room. Opening the door, I saw him sitting while playing the song.

\-------------

-> Be John:

High, then low. Back again high then low. Lower. And repeat. It was a basic song but yet it ment something to the both of us. Infact I sang it when I was ten, in the school contest. At the time the teachers learn bout my talent with the piano and singing, they wanted me in the contest. Though it was the "School Talentest!", it was known as the contest. I knew what I was doing, when I got on that stage. Moving my hands, I began singing. "I am a question to the world. Not an answer to be heard. Or a moment thats held in your arms. And what do you think you'd ever say. I wont listen anyways. You dont know me. And Ill never be what you want me to be."

There was a long pause, I know because I was the one that sang the song. I know because we sang it together. I know because it always hurts my heart. It prangs my heart strings to its final cord. To its final. Its always what they say, that the heart is the place you know something is wrong.

Every thing is wrong. I know they know. They know as I do. Its always a cycle, its always a tornado of pain, misery, sarrow, despression, and lonely-ness. "And what do you think you'd understand." Rising my voice a little higer, but my voice started to slowly crack as my mask does. "I'm a boy...."

pausing as I thought about it. Am I turely a boy, or am I a man? How do you know when you are a man? Am I ready to be one? These questions filled me with doubt. As I let my tears fall freely, I was about to sing the rest until a voice I thought I would hear today entered through the room.

"No, I'm a man. You cant take me and throw me away. And how can you learn whats never shown. Yeah you stand their on your own. They dont know...." I thought he didnt finish, so I finished for him. "Me...."

Tears broke, the dam is down. I could hear the tiny people scream in terror as the dam broke and pouring out the water. "Cuz Im not here..." Feeling lonely-ness took control over my feelings. Not bothering to look up at him, I still let the tears fall.

\----------------

-> Be Dave:

Here you are hugging your best bro, as he cry. You know how broken he is, from the sound of his voice to the ever falling tears of saddness. Softly you whisper in his ear "and you see the things they never see. All you wanted I could be. Now you know me and Im not afraid." Rubbing his back, making circles and ovals and other shapes. Picking him up from the seat you carried him to a pile you both made. Because why the hell not, besides no one uses this room execpt you two. Anyways laying him down ,you hold him in your arms while rocking back and forth. You can make a guess. It was his fathers brithday, still you are not sure. It could be his death date. Unsure-ing-ly, you just hold him while humming the song in you mind. The sound of his hic-ups and studdering breaths, made you even more to picking his up and hold him into your lap.

Softly(?) and yet brokenly he spoke "Can you help me be a man." I knew he was only singing, but it made me want to hug him and whiper every little thing would be better, it would be lovely, it would be great. No more wars, no more blood shed, no more anything but happiness. "They cant tell me who to be. Yeah, the world is still sleeping. While I keep on dreaming for me. And their words are just whispers and lies, That Ill never believe." The last phares I knew. Before he sobbed even more.

Quietly, we stayed like that hold and hugging each other. That was until he started something new.

\-----------

->Be John:

Getting up and away from Dave. The one who found me, more likely, and walking towards the piano. I look at him one more time, while patting the seat next to me. Turning back around I play another slow song. A song we both know. "Sound the bugle now... Play it just for me. As the seasons change remember how we used to be. Now I cant go on.... I cant even start. Ive got nothing left, just an empty heart. Im a soldier wounded so I must give up the fight. Theres nothing more for me, lead me away. Or leave me lying here."

\--------

Feeling my bro's heart aching underneath everything we've all been through. I know he had as much as I did. I knew he had a mask, I have a mask. But I know his is breaking, shattering, and falling apart. Moving from the pile, I got closer to him. Playing with some of the notes on the piano, while laying my head on his shoulders. And his head on my head. Though it was supposed to be the other way around, I didnt care. And neither did he. "Sound the bugle now tell them I dont care. Theres not a road I know that leads me to anywhere. Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark. Lay right down decide not to go on."

\----------

Sensing his head on my shoulders, indcating his lonely-ness towards me as well? Or we have something in common, or understandment? Why? I question myself too much but these pain me more than singing. Its like your brother just died and became a ghost, a lonely singing sad ghost.

\----------

->Be Davesprite:

Dispite being a bird, you knew your way around the area without a second thought. You knew whos rooms are whoms, even where everybody is at. Being called by Jade might not be a good thing. Remembering this message.

"Hey Davesprite, we might need your help. Please come here."

"Sure. Im coming Jade dont lose your pretty head off now." Flying closer and closer somehow you entered into memory lane of you and John. But John was crying, and he was singing a song you knew when he is distrese. "If you lose yourself your courage soon will follow. So be strong tonight remember who you are."

Thats when you sung, when you teleport over to yourself and john. Sure you wrapped your tail and wings around them. "Yeah you're a soldier now fighting in a battle. To be free once more yeah thats worth fighting for."

\-------------

-> Be Spectator:

Watching the two calm the one. Knowing John was down, you (the wind) close the door. Knowing they need space, you shifted your thoughts on the light. Thunder and Lighting struck the world of Skia, making you worry over the breath and time players. Knowing whats going on, you wished to whisper their future but you could never do it. Becuase you are nothing but the wind. Sighing you floated(?) over to the group, being invisible to them. But you know they can feel you.

To per say. Going towards Jade, you flew around in circles her, which lifted her dress a litte but at least they know something is up. Going to her back you push her, which she nearly fall. She seemed unsure. Finally failing to make her move, plus with Rose holding her, you has enough. You grumbled a bit, and then an idea came through your mind. Finding empty Faygo bottles you hold them which would make it look like a tiny tornado with Faygo bottles.

Seeing their expression you go towards Jade, you forced her to move. She seems to understand. Which enough of waiting they follow with you as you lead them to a room. You banged to the room, making through it, sadly the bottles didnt. They open the door to find all three who didnt show was there hugging John. Smiling, because you could hear them the whole way down. "Dave, today was the day my dad died and it was also his birthday. And thank you for making me feel better. The both of you."

Smiling for mission succes. You leave through the window, as empty space hold you in thier arms.

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A/n: Thank you for reading this. Sorry for making you wait for Fight or Flight. I have been busy making the chapter a lot long than normal. So I should be finsih in two days, tops. Hope you've enjoyed these stories of mine. Hehe~


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